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I have been thinking about what makes us happy.
After much thought I believe that it changes throughout life, and the things that made you happy as a child get forgotten as we grow older.
I remember sunny days, fun, playing out, riding my bike, running on the beach at the edge of the sea, my mum calling us in for tea.
So what makes our perspective change?
Things that have made me unhappy in the past are fear, stress, worrying about work, relationships, death and money.
As a child you don’t have these worries but also you do not have much responsibility either. So it looks as though these things are linked.
Also the past has a lot to do with worry and unhappiness. If we think back to sad times we stay chained in that moment and still feel guilt, remorse, anger and other negative emotions.
How can some people with a huge amount of responsibility – running corporations or leading a country cope and still appear happy?
Something that I was told a couple of years ago really helped me to put life into perspective and rediscover happiness. I was told “There are two days you can do nothing about – yesterday and tomorrow”. When I really thought about this it made so much sense. I cannot undo what has been done and I have no influence over things that may happen in the future – so just enjoy today!
When my mum died in October – it seems like only yesterday sometimes – I was very sad and still miss her so much. However she was such a source of joy and laughter. She made us all laugh constantly with her stories and jokes….must be where I get it from!
So I decided to remember her fondly and with happiness in my heart. I made a collage of photos for the funeral and have it near my desk. I didn’t realise it at the time but in every photo she is either smiling or laughing. That has taught me a lot. Whenever I feel anxious or stressed I look over at the photos and smile.
So the things that make me happy now are…
A sunny day…..the motivation to work hard to achieve our dream of living by the sea in a warm climate….phone calls from my children with their tales of the days events…watching a good film snuggled up with my wife….watching football…playing golf…..working on my online business…tweeting with my new online friends all over the world….the hopes of tomorrow….no regrets.
Have a great day and stop thinking about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow and live in the moment.
My favourite quote of all time is from the film Vanilla Sky…
“Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around”.
Let me know what makes you happy with a comment!
Hey Keith,
That’s why I’ve started publishing some of the private stuff I write (like the poem I’ve linked to) because I figure it could help people like it’s helped me. Great website mate, I need to visit it more often.
This is a really nice post. Lately I’m finding that connecting with people makes me happy. Especially with friends and even more specifically, one on one. I made a great friend when I was over in Brisbane, Australia for work. She was going through a rough patch & told me at the time that she never had anyone just listen to her or give a crap about her life before I came along. That made me sad a little bit to hear that, but I found being able to help someone, not necessarily by giving them advice, but being able to make them feel better on the other end of the phone from the other side of the country is kinda cool
Marco
Marco Fratelli´s last blog ..Comment by
That poem really got to me!
I have just bought a new book on instructions from my mentor John Thornhill. It’s called “The Go-Giver” and is all about achieving a happy life by just giving and not expecting back. I am just going to get a coffee and read it right now.
Thanks for your comments Marco and you are a diamond!
Cheers
Keith
Hi Keith,
Just nipped over from Twitter (I say it like it’s a business block across the road – I guess it kinda is at at times
)
Anyhoo, I really enjoyed reading that post of yours, I especially liked the quote;
“There are two days you can do nothing about – yesterday and tomorrow”.
It’s such a simple and poignant quote and one that I don’t think I have ever heard – which, as a Twitter user is becoming more and more rare (sigh).
I too have been digging a little deeper recently and as I mentioned on Twitter, I’m also about to read the Go-Giver, a book that has been recommended to me a lot recently.
I don’t know if you are interested in audio-books at all, I prefer a solid book for fiction, but I have discovered some great ’self help’ audio books that you can listen to whilst driving or laying in bed.
Two that I highly recommend is Gary Vaynerchuks ‘Crush It’ (I wrote a review on my blog if you want to know more) and just yesterday I listened to ‘Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires by Brian Tracy’, it was less than an hour in length but it was pure content that leaves you so motivated. Let me know what you think if you give them a go!
You asked what makes me happy; I love the usual things like Friday nights when I know that I get to spend time out with my family, a nice glass of vino with friends and I have a passion for learning….a ton of stuff!
I went into the online biz world as I have far more reach with what I want to do – yes, I want the results and financial security of running my own business and I want to prove to myself that I can make a huge success of it – but the best thing is that I am doing something I truly love. So the hours spent answering people in forums that need help, recording tutorials or webinars are not so much a chore as a pleasure and that really makes me happy.
Anyway Keith, I think you have a great blog here – I’m bookmarking it for future reading.
,,,And Marco, I read your poem and it was truly beautiful, you have a wonderful way with words.
Nikki Backshall
WebMums.com
Nikki Backshall´s last blog ..[Twitter] Follow Friday Pick Antonia Chitty – Author and Mumpreneur Extraordinaire!
Hi Nikki,
Thanks for leaving a comment and glad you had time to nip over…I would have made you a quick coffee if I had known!
I will add your blog to my blogroll as well.
Have a great day and I will check out those audio books as soon as I can.
Cheers
Keith
Happiness to me is living each day, not merely existing. Doing something new everyday however small it is; even taking a new route to office. Doing what you love most — for me it is Books, Guitar Movies, Running and being sometime alone with myself.
Thnaks for your comment Arun, I agree that sometimes the small changes can be the most profound.
When you think about it life is made up of moments…some of my best memories are just from a magic moment
but I can still experience what I felt at the time.
Excellent post. Living in the moment, that is some of the best advice. And it’s something I have always tried to do. Not always easy, but it sure makes you happier.
What makes me happy? Quite a few things, but mostly seeing my kids smile and have fun. Or one of those moments when they give you a big hug and you see that they really do love you. Also accomplishing things and seeing the end result or at least the progress. Getting lost in another world, through books, games, or a really good movie.
I’m sure there are other things but those are the biggest ones that come to mind right now. Makes ya kind of cheery to think about it all. Might be something to keep in mind when I’m having a bad day, hmm…
Great post though and your blog looks great too!
~Chris
Christopher Anderson´s last blog ..35 Things I Have Learned From Working Online
Thanks for your comments Chris. It’s good to hear that what appear to be the simple things in life are what matter most and underlines my comment that life is made up of magic moments.
Also thanks for the kind comment about the redesign of the blog!